Issue #14: Self-doubt, inner-critics and purpose

“Use words wisely,” said by a wise, unknown person.

Mar 22, 2025

I love words. Obviously. I love words so much that every resolution of mine for the past decade has included, Learning a new word every day. I haven’t followed up on that resolution with consistency, I hope I’ve been able to mask that successfully. I love words, but I don’t always use them in the right way – an issue I’m sure a lot of people can relate to.

Act I: 5 Reasons to edit self-diminishing words from our vocabulary

When we publicly look down on ourselves or our possessions using words like small, cheap, lucky, plain, simple, easy, confused, impulsive, we shouldn’t be offended when others use the same words to describe us. We told them it was acceptable to do so.
We believe those words, consequently sabotaging ourselves when good opportunities knock on our doors.
We question ourselves at every moment, questioning our capabilities and sincerity.
We feel like frauds.
We can’t sleep properly because “I used ___ word on myself earlier, and what if they think that too?” To pull down previous words we’ve used on ourselves in a bid to appear sophisticated, our tongues spew more nonsense. It’s a cycle.

Things to stop saying today:

“I did it but…” Shush! You did that! Yes, you! And whether if it was perfect or not, be proud of your attempts, don’t point out why it’s not a big deal, or why it has so many mistakes. Humility doesn’t mean self-hate, it means appreciating our efforts without turning into insufferable, “look how amazing I, and only I am.”
“I bought it but…” so what if it was expensive? Don’t be afraid of judgements. So what if it was cheap? Don’t be afraid of judgements.
“I passed but…” But, what? Your hand magically wrote the right answers? Your name somehow appeared on top of the list, just like that? Don’t ignore your efforts (studying, praying, etc.) because you’re uncomfortable appearing competent.

Act II: 5 Reasons to cut the self-critiques we conceal in our minds

You’re human.
Humans are flawed.
Our flaws make us human.
Flaws, when coupled with self-awareness lead to growth.
You like growth? View yourself with compassion.

Act II: 5 Reasons why I have too many notebooks for writing (and why I need to find a support group for the addiction)

It’s fun to hide behind, “it’s fiction,” pretending that my inspiration is wholly made-up and not inspired by certain, real facts of life. I feel like a cool spy – without the shades or the cool soundtrack.
Reading inspires me to create.
Writing supports my mission to discover my identity, and untangle my frustrations, hopes and fears.
Reading and learning about world history frustrates me sometimes, because I can’t relate to what’s available. With writing, I can craft my own history – even if the worlds are fantastical and unrealistic.
When I’m studying for an exam, I always have a notebook beside me for writing ideas that pop up. My phone which shouldn’t be beside me while studying stays close in case I need to jot an idea in the notes app. See, when you’re learning about portfolio management, and the reading material rearranges itself into a story, you can’t lie to yourself anymore.